Bernie, Bern, Blern… Can we all forget about these articles and just go vote for Berns ol’ Sandy already?

Bern is a true spoken politician, he’s reaching for the bull and he’s pulling on it. Bernie Sanders has a good grip. Is the bull coming.. I don’t know. I don’t think so, but for the purpose of this fake article, I will keep typing. I am heavily caffeinated and had about zero hours of sleep in the last 27 hours.

27 year old Bernard has a keen eye for people who are liars and greedy. He makes sure to point out what other people are doing wrong. President material. Ooo a new hashtag. #prezmat. Probably already exists; hopefully it’s as cheesy as I picture it. I was thinking a knock off of  the typical ‘boyfriend material’ but it’ll have pink font across and he’ll be biting his lip; like “Yea, America!” I’ll stop now, it’s weirding me out.

Bernie Winning!

But seriously, let’s just all go and vote. Look at that shirt he’s wearing in the picture.. Boy! is that a good mustard or what? Makes me want to have some mustard and sandwich.

Bernie Sanders for President

Almost forgot.. check out this man’s plan for the future of America. Boy oh boy! the savings…

Bernie’s Plans

His best plan yet.

Bronze Vote Package

$50/month
  • Rebuilding Our Crumbling Infrastructure
  • Reversing Climate Change
  • Creating Worker Co-ops
  • Growing the Trade Union Movement
  • Raising the Minimum Wage
  • Pay Equity for Women Workers
  • Trade Policies that Benefit American Workers
  • Making College Affordable for All
  • Taking on Wall Street
  • Health Care as a Right for All
  • Protecting the Most Vulnerable Americans
  • Real Tax Reform
Buy Now

Gold Vote Package

$300/month
  • Rebuilding Our Crumbling Infrastructure
  • Reversing Climate Change
  • Creating Worker Co-ops
  • Growing the Trade Union Movement
  • Raising the Minimum Wage
  • Pay Equity for Women Workers
  • Trade Policies that Benefit American Workers
  • Making College Affordable for All
  • Taking on Wall Street
  • Health Care as a Right for All
  • Protecting the Most Vulnerable Americans
  • Real Tax Reform
Buy Now

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